Yes, dear, a professional football game is on right now as I post, and you wonder why I don't have it tuned in? I have laundry to fold, papers to grade, and a manicure to get finished before I go to sleep. I'll tune in some time before the first half is done, but we'll see.
The Red Sox demolished the Cardinals. Nanny boo-boo. AL team's ahead of you-oo. Admittedly that would be a childish thing to write; however, what's written is done. Move on.
Brett Favre coming out of retirement to lead the HAPLESS St. Louis Rams? He said no thanks. Good for him, saving the bones more wear and tear from some young punk itching to say, "I got to sack Brett Favre!" Quite a few other people can claim that distinction, Sonny. Who wants to be the one who delivers a Joe Thiesmann-career-ending hit? Even LT was apologetic. Speaking of (ahem) older quarterbacks still in their prime, here's wishing Peyton Manning a speedy recovery as the Broncos get ready to face Robert Griffin, III and the Washington Redskins. We'll see how Manning's arm and footwork coordinate after a bit of rest.
I have three words for Cam Newton: learn to slide. This means getting a baseball coach to help you finesse the move and save the brain from potential scrambling by a marauding defender out for blood.
Here are this week's College Picks for Saturday, October 26, 2013.
- Nebraska blows out the Golden Gophers.
- Stanford Cardinal shows off their new Oregon State Beaver hats.
- Texas gigs the Horned Frogs.
- Ohio State remains undefeated against the Penn State Nittany Lions.
- The Oregon Ducks skin the UCLA Bruins.
- Clemson Tigers will dine on Maryland Terrapin stew.
- Coach Spurrier and his South Carolina team head to the show-me state to face off against the Missouri Tigers.
- The undefeated Texas Tech Red Raiders will head to Norman to face the Oklahoma Sooners. Push.
- Sparty goes to see the .500 Fighting Illini. The Illini will have an even worse record afterwards.
- Iowa Hawkeyes take on the Northwestern Wildcats. Rochampbeau? Two out of three wins, dude.
- Utes visit Tommy Trojan at the Colesium; in former days, this was a no-brainer. Now, I am not so sure about the crimson and gold as I once was.
- UCONN travels south to UCF (ranked!) and gets beaten.
- Pitt faces the Midshipmen in Annapolis. Come on sailors!
- The Oklahoma State Cowboys straighten the Iowa State Cyclones enough for a stretcher. This one will be bad.
- NC State visits the Seminole Nation? Is this legal?
- Notre Dame takes on the Air Force Academy. I don't have much hope for the Falcons, but I cheer against the Fighting Irish any day of the week that ends in "y."
- Good luck to the Tennessee Vols in your quest against the Crimson Tide. It's Rocky Top time! Oh, wait, I was dreaming again, huh?
- Buffalo plays Kent State; guess who wins? Kent State, of course.
Friday Night Lights
1. High School Action:
A. Plano East squares off against perennial rival Plano Senior High. Here's hoping the Panthers can thrash the Wildcats in a special birthday present to this alumnus.
B. Centennial High School, aching from a wretched loss last week, thirst to avenge themselves on down-the-road rivals at Frisco High School.
2. College Time: Boise State faces Brigham Young and triumphs over the Cougars.
No, I won't go to Atlantic City to bet either. Lady Grid out.